Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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