But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
