mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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