I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
