In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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