i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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