im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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