So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
