Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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