actually, I'm a sock model
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
