So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
