Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
