The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
