I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
