I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
