***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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