i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize