I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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