i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
