their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
