if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
