my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
