My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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