you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Randomize
