The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
