Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
