Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
