I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
