then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
