I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
