I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
