Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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