Are we in a gay sports bar?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
