I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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