my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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