I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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