all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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