I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
