no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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