How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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