i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
