first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
