just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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