Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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