If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
He had one of those small greek statue penises
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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