The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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