Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
