I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
