some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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