I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
