Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
