She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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