You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
