College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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