I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
