Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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